Insistent Read online

  I’m just about five minutes away from Mom’s assisted living when my phone rings through the car speakers. Glancing at the dash, I see it’s Gavin. “Hey, what’s up?”

  “Just seeing if you wanted some company to go see your mom tonight?” he asks.

  See, my best friend. He knows me better than anyone. “I’m actually almost there. Thank you though. You all set for the trip? Anything you need me to do before we leave?”

  “Cass, it’s all under control. I just got an e-mail from Logan confirming our flight and room reservations. I’ll be there to pick you up in the morning around seven. Our flight leaves at nine.”

  “Okay.”

  “See you soon.” His deep, husky rumble washes over me, and I shiver in awareness. I’m in trouble. So much damn trouble.

  Too amped up, I barely slept last night. Four days. I get four days alone with her. Just the two of us. Sure, we’re working, but not at the label. We’re going to be in a hotel, and out at the venue. Four days to show her what we could be together. I’ve waited and given her time, especially knowing she has a lot of responsibilities on her plate with her mom. I’ve been with her to see her before. Her car was in the shop and she was distraught. I told her to take mine, she refused. Instead, I agreed to drive her anywhere she needed to go, no questions asked. When she gave me directions to the assisted-living home, I knew then why it was so important. I remember she was quiet, only speaking to give me directions. When we pulled into the lot, she looked at me with tears in her eyes and told me her mom lived there and she had Alzheimer’s. Then she climbed out of the car. Stubborn ass that I am, I followed her. Sure, I was overstepping, but to see tears in those beautiful eyes of hers, I had to follow to make sure she was okay.

  Turns out it was a good thing I did. Her mom was having a bad day. She screamed and yelled when Cass walked into her room, claiming she was a stranger. Cass turned to rush from the room and ran straight into my arms. She was so lost in her head she hadn’t even realized I’d followed her. I held her tightly, letting her cry, giving her as much of my strength as I could. Before that day I wanted her. She’s gorgeous, with all that thick, blonde, curly hair. And her sapphire eyes… I swear they could stop my heart. That day, holding her when she needed someone, that moment changed things for me. She was more than just a girl who worked for our label who was easy on the eyes. She made me want to be a better man, a man who she could lean on when times got tough. That day I realized my brothers, my bandmates, were lucky fuckers. At that time, only Kace was married, but Cole was lost in his pursuit of Stacy, and Tristan, although I didn’t know it then, was already wrapped up in Lauren.

  So, yeah, sleep last night was restless at best.

  Grabbing my bags, I pull them out to my truck and head out a few minutes early. I know my girl and she needs her caffeine. Making a pit stop at the local coffee house, I order us both an extra-large black. She’s not one to need all the frills in life. I add on a couple of glazed doughnuts as they’re her favorite, and a muffin for me, and head to her place.

  Pulling up outside her condo, I send her a text, letting her know I’m on my way up.

  Me: I’m here. Headed up now.

  Cass: No need. I’m good to go. I’ll meet you outside.

  No way am I letting her lug her bags all on her own. Hopping out of my truck, I jog to the front door just in time for it to open. Like always, the sight of her takes my breath away. Sounds corny even to me, but it’s the truth nonetheless.

  “Morning, gorgeous,” I say, taking the steps until I reach her and placing a kiss on her cheek. That’s something I’ve made sure to do each day. A simple greeting, harmless really, but it gets my lips against her skin.

  “Morning.” She smiles.

  “Where are the rest of your bags?”

  “Just this one, and my carry-on.” She points to her shoulder.

  I don’t know why I’m surprised. Cassidy is not a diva. She is so much like Logan, and hell, even Stacy and Lauren, that it’s eerie. None of us wanted a woman in our lives who was full of drama and demands, and it seems as though we’ve all found that. I just need to convince mine that she’s exactly that.

  Mine.

  “That’s yours,” I say, pointing to the cup holder housing her coffee. “If you look in the bag, there might be a little something extra for you, too.” I wink before starting the truck and pulling out of the drive.

  “Caffeine,” she sings as she grabs the cup and takes her first drink. “I’ve only had one cup today, so thank you.”

  “You’re welcome. I’ve only ever seen you drink it black,” I say to keep her talking. Her sweet voice filling the truck.

  “Yeah, that’s how Mom drank it growing up and I just kind of followed in her footsteps. We didn’t have the money for fancy creamers, and Mom said black was fine the way it was. I’ve actually never tried it any other way.”

  “It’s not real coffee unless it’s black,” I agree. She’s giving me glimpses of her life growing up, and from what I gather, they didn’t have an easy time. Picking up the bag, I hand it to her. “Here.”

  Placing her coffee back in the cup holder, she peers into the bag, and I hear her sigh. “You’re too good to me, Gavin.” She reaches in to pull out one of the glazed doughnuts. “You want one?” she asks before taking a bite.

  I want to pull the truck over on the side of the road and watch her eat it. Pathetic I know, but the truth all the same. “No, I actually had a muffin.” I point to the now empty and crumpled-up bag sitting on the floorboard. As far as being too good to her, I would give her the world. If only she would let me.

  “So what do we know about this band?” she asks, scrunching up her bag and placing it on the floor next to mine.

  “Not much, actually. They sent a demo, Kace liked them and wants us to check them out. He has a feeling we’re going to want them and wants to get a jump start before any other labels nail them down.”

  “Shattered Heart, right?” She clarifies the name of the band we’re going to see.

  “Yeah.”

  “I watched some YouTube videos of them last night. They’re good. They have a similar sound to you guys,” she says, reaching for her coffee.

  “Yeah, Kace played the demo for us and I agree. I’m hoping that gives us the upper hand and they’ll sign with us.”

  “Any of the other bands on your radar for this trip?”

  Just you. “Nah, not really. Just going to listen and see if any of them stand out. What about you?”

  “I took a look at the lineup but didn’t go in search of them. I figured we were going to be there, and live is a better depiction of them anyway, so no.”

  “I was thinking the same thing,” I say as I pull into the parking lot at the private airport. The guys offered to drive us, even get us a driver, but the thought of her and me alone in my truck, even though it was a short drive, was what I wanted. I’m going to soak up as much time with her as I possibly can during this trip. This is my shot to show her how things could be between us.

  I knew we would take the label’s private jet. I’ve arranged travel for them hundreds of times. However, I didn’t think about the reality of what that would mean. I didn’t think about Gavin and me being alone, just the two of us. I never considered the fact that he would insist on taking the seat right next to mine, even though there are plenty of others he could occupy.

  “I was thinking,” he says, turning in his seat to face me. Reaching out, he tucks a stray curl behind my ear. This simple move has become a habit, one that causes my heart to race. “While we’re here, we should go on that date I’ve been trying to convince you of. It’s just the two of us. No one here to witness it.” He smiles.

  Have you ever been on the receiving end of a Gavin McIntosh smile? Let me tell you, this man and his smile can have panties dropping in a matter of seconds.

  “Gavin,” I sigh. “We’ve been over this.” I knew he would bring it up. He doesn’t go more than a day or two without asking
me to go out with him. It gets harder and harder to say no. Especially after talking to Logan. I want to scream “yes” from the rooftops, but that’s just not possible with everything I have at stake.

  “Yeah, we have, but I’m not satisfied with the outcome. Come on, Cass. You know we’d be good together.”

  “You’re my boss,” I remind him.

  “Who gives a fuck about that?” He leans in close, so close I can feel his hot breath against my skin. “I want you,” he whispers.

  I swallow hard, steeling my features and hoping he doesn’t see how he affects me, how his words affect me. “What happens when you no longer want me?” This is a question that has rolled through my head every time he asks, but this is the first time I’ve ever actually said them aloud. I’m fearful of the answer, which is why I never voiced it in the past. I’m not blind. I’ve seen that he’s not going out and the women who used to swarm the band are no longer around. Is it the thrill of the chase for him? As soon as the thought crosses my mind, I know that’s not it, but I just can’t risk it.

  His big hand, calloused from hours of strumming his guitar, cradles my cheek. “Baby, that will never happen. There’s nothing that could ever make me not want you.”

  “You don’t know that, Gav.”

  He leans in closer. “I do.” His lips graze the corner of my mouth, and I think he’s going to finally kiss me, something I’ve fantasized about for longer than I can remember, but instead, he pulls away, and I have to fight to not show my disappointment. I’m a mess when it comes to him. I want him—there’s no denying that—but my future, my mother’s future depends on me keeping this job. A sure-fire way to lose it would be to sleep with my boss. I can’t do that, no matter how insistent my body is that it’s a good idea. I think about my call with Logan, how her and the others are cheering for this to happen. She assured me that the guys are on board as well. I just worry about what happens after. Will I have their reassurances then?

  “You’re my boss,” I repeat. It’s a weak attempt at best to dissuade him from his pursuit.

  He chuckles. “Cass, did you somehow forget that Kacen married his assistant?”

  “No, but it worked out for them.”

  His hand finds its way back to my cheek. This time it’s his thumb that strokes underneath my eye. “You have us failing before we even start. That’s not fair, Cass. There’s no one but you. For a long damn time, there’s been no one for me but you. What do I have to do to make you see that?”

  “You know what this job means to me, Gavin. I have more than just me to think about. Mom, she’s happy where she is, and is receiving the best care. I can’t jeopardize that. I won’t.”

  “I’m not asking you to.” His voice is low and gruff. “I know what’s at stake here, Cass. Just one date. Let me have that. Give me one night to at least pretend that you’re mine.”

  “I’m sorry,” I say, shaking my head at the same time. “I just can’t.” Tears well up in my eyes and I know he sees them when his eyes turn a dark shade of blue.

  “Come here.” He guides me to his lap and wraps his arms around me. “Just let me hold you,” he murmurs against my ear. “For right now, I just want to hold you.”

  I let him. I’m too weak to refuse the warmth and safety of his arms. It’s not the first time he’s comforted me, but it’s the first time it’s because of the reason we can’t be together. I’m usually good at keeping my composure, but he’s amped up his game and is relentless when it comes to wearing me down. I want nothing more than to give in, to say yes, and beg him to stay locked in the hotel room with me for the next four days, but that’s fantasy. My reality is that my mom depends on me. I grew up with nothing, and this job, I’ve busted my ass to get here. No way can I ruin that just for a chance at a night or two in his bed.

  I just can’t do it.

  It’s what I have to keep reminding myself of, despite the repetition. Maybe if I think that, say it often enough, I’ll stay strong.

  I don’t know how long we sit this way, his arms locked tightly around me, but I’m thankful when the flight attendant interrupts asking if we need anything. I slide off his lap into my own seat, much to his dismay. That’s my one and only moment of weakness for this trip. I can’t let myself fall any harder.

  Taking a big drink from my water bottle, I prepare myself for awkward silence the remainder of the flight. However, that’s not at all what I get. Gavin pulls his phone from his pocket, connects to the onboard Wi-Fi, and we watch videos of Shattered Heart, the band we’re going to see. We also watch a few of the other bands that are going to be at the festival. Gavin asks my opinion and I give it to him. It’s almost as if he knew I needed our normal to get through the rest of the flight.

  The drive to our hotel is short and sweet. Gavin checks us in, while I stand with our bags. Wordlessly, I follow him onto the elevator and to the top floor. My heart starts to race when it dawns on me what’s happening.

  “Logan, she, uh, got us a suite. Two bedrooms, a kitchen and living room. We have separate bathrooms,” he says in a rush.

  Logan! She’s a sneaky little thing, and I make a mental note to call and yell at her as soon as Gavin is out of earshot. One suite, with Gavin, just the two of us for four days. This trip is going to be harder to get through than I originally thought. How can I resist him when I’m basically living with him?

  Damn you, Logan Warren.

  A suite. Logan is going to get a big-ass hug from me when we get home. I need all the help I can get to make Cass see we can be great together. The only downfall will be knowing she’s sleeping just feet away. At least if she was in another room, it would be harder to get to her. Now I just have to walk across the living area to the other side of the suite. How am I going to sleep with her so close? My only hope is that by the time we leave here, she’ll be in my bed, or me in hers. We can sleep if that’s all she’s ready for. Being next to her is enough.

  For now.

  Sliding the keycard into the slot on the door, I push it open and motion for her to go on in. I’m being a gentleman, and if she has to squeeze by me and I get to feel her body pressed against mine even for a second, it’s worth it. “Go ahead and pick your room. I’m good with whatever.”

  “You go ahead,” she says, biting on her bottom lip.

  Damn, that simple act turns me on. Then again, all she has to do is breathe and I’m ready to go. It’s her. Cassidy is my drug. “Really, go for it. I assume they’re close to identical, but you pick. I want you to be comfortable. I mean, unless you want to room with me?” I toss it out there. It’s a dick move to pressure her, but it’s no secret I want her.

  “Gavin.” My name is a sigh, and even that’s sexy as fuck. “You know we can’t.”

  “No. I know that you think we can’t, but we can, Cass. I give you my word that your job will not be affected.”

  “Right.” She laughs humorlessly. “We’ve been over this. What happens when you’re done with me, then what? Do you really think we can still work together as if you’d never been inside of me?” she asks. Her cheeks turn pink at her words.

  Stalking toward her, I don’t stop until we are toe-to-toe. Reaching out, I cup her cheek in the palm of my hand. “If and when I’m ever lucky enough to be inside of you, I can’t promise I’ll ever be able to let you go.” My thumb swipes gently across her cheek as she sucks in a breath. Slowly, I drop my hand and step away from her. “Go pick your room. We can then grab some lunch.”

  I stand still and watch as she collects her bag and wheels it to the room on the right. She disappears behind the closed door without a word. I know she’s affected by me, I know that she wants this, but she gets lost in her head in the what-ifs. Fuck, Kacen and Logan did it, so we can, too. I meant what I told her. I don’t know that I will ever be able to let her go. For her to worry about what would happen if we’re no longer together, that’s not an issue for me. It’s not even on my radar. I’ve wanted her for so long, it’s almost as if it’s just a f
antasy. She is my fantasy. I know her reservations, the worry about being able to take care of her mom. I just don’t know how to calm those fears. How do I show her what we can be, what she means to me?

  After grabbing my bag, I drop it on the bed in the second room. It’s large, with a king-size bed in the center. A large shower and a separate tub that’s big enough for two is off to the side. It’s definitely big enough for me and Cass. Shaking out of my thoughts, all too aware I sound like a horny teenager, I quickly unpack and head back out to the living area. She walks out of her room at the same time. “Hungry?” I ask.

  “Definitely. The festival doesn’t start until tomorrow, so I guess we have the night off.”

  “You trying to get out of eating with me?” I tilt my head, teasing.

  “N-no, that’s not what I meant. Just that we didn’t have to go to the festival after we eat.”

  “Let’s get you fed. We can figure out what to do with the rest of the day while we eat.” We’ve shared countless meals, but none of them have I been able to hold her hand under the table. I don’t get to sit next to her in a booth, my thigh pressed against hers. I don’t get to drive her home and kiss her goodnight. One of these days, I’ll get to do all those things, when we have our official first date.

  Nodding, she heads toward the door. I catch up with her and place my hand on the small of her back, leading her out of our suite and into the elevator. “What are you in the mood for?”

  “The hotel has a few restaurants. Let’s just pick one of those.”

  That’s Cassidy. No fanfare, no drama, and no bullshit. She’s not into the glam of her job or the fact that she’s here with me. Just one more thing on the long list of things I love about her. Luckily, for the most part, fans leave us alone when we are out. On the occasion when it happens, Cassidy is the first to back away from the limelight. She’s been photographed before, but they know who she is. She was in the public eye when she was working for Jones when the label was Stone Records, so she’s used to it, but she doesn’t crave it. That’s the huge difference.