Insistent Read online

  “How about there?” She points to a bar and grill in the hotel as we exit the elevator.

  My hand finds its way to the small of her back once again, and I guide her to the entrance. “Two,” I tell the hostess. With a polite smile, she takes two menus and asks us to follow her. I have to bite down on my cheek to keep my smile at bay when she leads us to a dark corner booth. I wait until Cass is seated before I slide in the seat across from her. I almost moved in to sit beside her, but I’ve already pushed my luck. Not to mention I don’t want to force her into this, into the idea of us. I want her, and I know she wants me, but I know when to back off.

  Cass opens her menu then moans. “Bacon cheeseburger.” She grins. “And some fries.” She closes the menu and clasps her hands on top of it on the table. “What about you?”

  I’m still stuck on the moan. What I wouldn’t give to have her under me, on top of me, beside me, anywhere, and making that sound. “Yeah, me too,” I say after clearing my throat. By the time the waitress stops by to take our order, I have myself under control—well, at least from what they can see. My cock is hard under the table, begging for more of her moans.

  “So what are you thinking for tonight? I mean, you can do your own thing. I can hang out in the room if you have plans,” she says.

  Like I would plan anything without her. “Anything that I do involves you being with me. I thought we could do the tourist thing. Maybe cruise by the arch. I’m not sure if it’s operating, but you can go up in it and get a great view of the city, at least that’s what my research said. There’s also a graffiti wall I’d like to see while we’re here. Maybe we should get some spray paint and add our names or something?”

  “Is that even legal?”

  “It is. I guess it’s this huge wall and people come from all around to tag it or whatever it is they call it. The pictures I saw online were pretty great to think they did it with a can of spray paint.”

  She nods. “I’d like to go see it. Not sure about adding my name but it sounds like something cool to see.”

  “The festival starts tomorrow, and even though the band we’re here to see doesn’t play until the day after, I’d still like to go and check out the talent.”

  “That’s why we’re here.”

  “Technically, we only need to see Shattered Heart, and any other bands that we bring back to the group are just a bonus. Is there anything you wanted to do while you’re here? Any St. Louis bucket list items?” I ask.

  She chuckles. “Not off the top of my head. I’m up for anything.”

  “Anything?”

  “Gavin.” While there’s a small reprimand in her tone, her smile is blinding as she rolls those sapphire eyes at me.

  “Just checking.” I grin across the table at her. I crave this time with her. Just the two of us. No matter what happens while we’re here, at least I’ll get a few days of just Cass. That’s more than I can ask for at this point. Maybe, just maybe, I can convince her that what I’m offering is real.

  A man can dream.

  I knew this was going to be a challenge, but Gavin is pulling out all the stops. He’s also his normal charming self, with gentle touches and once again, those eyes. I could get lost in his eyes. I want to, oh how I want to. It’s hard to pretend to be unaffected by his words and his subtle caress when all I want is more.

  I crave more.

  “So where to?” I ask, pushing my plate away. I managed to devour my burger and most of my fries, and I’m stuffed.

  Reaching out, he snatches a fry from my plate. “I’m thinking we start at the arch. That way we can take our time at the graffiti wall.”

  Gavin hands his card to the waitress for our meal. I don’t bother arguing. I learned a long time ago anytime one of the guys from Soul Serenade are with you, trying to pay is useless. Besides, this is a business trip and I know the label will reimburse him. “Ready?” he asks, placing his card back into his wallet and sliding out of the booth. He holds his hand out for me and I take it.

  It’s these little touches, the moments when I can pretend that he’s mine and I’m his that I crave. It’s innocent enough, friendly, polite, but I can’t help but wonder if I’m ever able to give in to this attraction we have for one another, what would it feel like then? To know that when he’s touching me, it’s because we’re one? I’ve had fantasies, and I can almost guarantee they don’t even come close to how it would feel in real life.

  “Are you afraid of heights?” he asks once we’re back in our rental SUV and on the road.

  “I’m not exactly a fan, but I can deal with it.”

  “What does that mean? Not exactly a fan?”

  “It means that by choice, I like to keep two feet on the ground, but I’m not going to let my fear keep me from experiencing something phenomenal.”

  “Does the St. Louis arch count as phenomenal?”

  If it’s with you it does. “It’s a new experience, and you never know when phenomenal is going to happen.”

  He chuckles at my reply but doesn’t comment. “There is it.” Gavin points to the arch that stands tall above the buildings. “You sure you’re up for this?”

  “We go up in that?” I try to keep my voice from quivering.

  “Yeah, I guess there’s an elevator that takes you to the top.”

  “It’s safe?” Leaning down, I peer through the front windshield, trying to get a better view.

  His hand on my leg startles me. I jump at the contact and turn to face him. “I won’t let anything happen to you,” he says, tracing my thigh with his thumb.

  “That’s a great sentiment and all, but you can’t keep the elevator from falling.”

  “No, I can’t. But I’d never put you in a situation that I didn’t feel was completely safe. We don’t have to go up if you don’t want to.”

  “Can I get back to you on that?” I ask as he steers us into the parking lot.

  “Let’s just go walk around, take in the river. We can decide later if you want to go up.”

  “I can wait for you if you want to go,” I say as we climb out of the SUV.

  Gavin waits for me as I walk to meet him on the other side of the car. When I’m within touching distance, he reaches out and places his hand on the small of my back. The warmth of his touch seeps into me. It’s hot as hell today, but that’s nothing compared to how my temperature rises anytime his hands are on me. The simple touch of his palm to my back has my body overheating. “I’m not doing it without you, Cass. We can do it together or not at all. I’m not going to be heartbroken if I don’t go.”

  “You sure about that?” I tease, trying to lighten the mood and forget about my fear.

  “Trust me. The choice is an easy one. Stay on the ground with you or go up without you…. I choose you every time.”

  His words cause a melting feeling in the pit of my stomach. He started making his feelings known about a year ago. He doesn’t hold back from letting me know he wants there to be more between us. Honestly, it’s a miracle in and of itself I’ve held out considering everything he says. He can wax poetic and turn me into a gooey, swoony mess. Then again, he is a musician. That’s what he does. He writes and performs music, stringing together lyrics that touch your soul. Soul Serenade is the perfect name for them. No matter if it’s a ballad, or a faster base pounding in your chest track, the lyrics touch your soul.

  Gavin’s hand drops from the small of my back as we get closer to the crowd. For a split second disappointment settles in my stomach, that is until he laces his fingers through mine and pulls me close to him, guiding us through the small crowd. I know I should pull away. The lines can so easily be crossed without much effort from either of us. We just… fit. We get along, have the same tastes in music. We can spend hours talking about everything and nothing. From text messages to chatting at the office, and phone calls, literally everything with Gavin comes easy. Too easy. So much so that I have to remind myself he’s not mine, no matter how much we both want him to be.

&n
bsp; “Not much to see,” he says, his lips next to my ear.

  I tilt my head back and shield my eyes from the sun, even though I’m wearing sunglasses. The arch is high, so damn high I can feel my stomach drop at the thought going up in what I’m sure is a tiny elevator. “It’s up there,” I say, feeling panic start to set in.

  “I’m right here.” He pulls me closer.

  His body is aligned with mine. Here, away from the office, it’s hard to remember why I can’t just let go and be with him. See where this attraction takes us. This trip is already testing my resolve. “You sure this is safe?” I ask him again, searching for reassurance.

  “Look.” He points to our right and there’s a family of four coming up the steps from the underground elevator. The kids are smiling and laughing and the parents are as well. None of them look traumatized by the event.

  I swallow hard. “I can’t.”

  “Then we won’t,” he says, kissing my temple. “Let’s go walk along the river’s edge.”

  So that’s what we do. Hand-in-hand we walk along the concrete path that runs parallel with the river. The warm breeze blows through my hair as the sun shines down on us. Gavin’s hand is warm wrapped around mine while his shoulder brushes against mine as we walk. We stop to watch a barge pass by and I close my eyes. This is one of those moments where I like to pretend he’s mine. I can’t help but wonder if he does the same thing.

  “Ready for the graffiti wall?” he asks.

  “You sure you don’t want to go up?” I point to the arch. “I really don’t mind waiting.”

  “And miss time with you? Nah, I’m good.” I want to be brave for him. I want to tell him that we can go up, and not be afraid, but the fear coursing through me won’t allow it. Instead, I let his words soothe me. Gavin puts me first and, in my limited experience in the dating world, that’s a rare find.

  We turn and head back to the SUV. Relief races through me that we don’t have to go up in the arch. I hate that he’s missing out on the experience, but I’m grateful he didn’t pressure me to go either. I’m a rapid mix of emotions. I just don’t know which is stronger. Gavin opens the door for me and waits until I’m buckled in before shutting the door. I close my eyes and rest my head back against the seat. I know I should tell him to stop. Any other time I would have already. The touches, the kiss to my temple, his sweet words… he’s never come on this strong all at once before. I need to tell him to stop, but I can’t form the words.

  Deep down, I don’t want him to ever stop.

  And that right there is the problem.

  Why in the fuck have we not gone on a scouting trip before now? I’m kicking myself in the ass for not thinking of it. Leave it to Kace to come up with the idea. If things go my way, if I can convince Cassidy to give us a try, I’ll never hear the end of it. That’s okay though, because I’ll have the girl. He can gloat all he wants. If she’s mine, I doubt I’ll even hear him.

  Glancing over at Cassidy, I see her eyes are closed, head tilted back. Does she realize what she does to me? That I want nothing more than to lean over this console and trace the column of her neck with my tongue? With my hands gripping the wheel, I pull out of the lot.

  “How far is the wall?” her soft voice asks from beside me.

  “Not far.” I glance at my phone where I pulled up the address. “Says ten minutes.”

  “Did you get paint?”

  “Nah, I figured we could see what it’s all about first. I’m not much of a painter, and from what I hear, these tags or murals or whatever they’re called are pretty badass.”

  “So, it’s legal, people just go and paint this wall?”

  “Yeah, from what I read, people travel from all around just to show off their graffiti skills. Sounds pretty cool.”

  “How big is it?” she asks, and I chuckle which causes her to turn and look at me.

  “I can show you.” I wink.

  “Stop.” She smacks my arm, laughing. “How big is the wall?”

  “The wall, got ya.” I act as though I was confused, but we both know better. “I’m not sure. It’s pretty big. Online they said you can walk the wall or drive it, so I assume it’s a pretty decent size.”

  “Hmm,” is her mumbled reply as her fingers fly over the screen of her phone.

  “Work?” I ask.

  “Yeah, the contractors are coming to renovate the top floor. Just confirming dates for next week.”

  When we took over the label, the top floor was all offices. We’re a tight-knit group and none of us really require our own space. There are three large conference rooms on the first floor. We converted one of those to an office space. The entire perimeter of the room is desk space, and we each have our own little area. With our growing families, we decided to make the top floor Soul Serenade only. We’re putting in a full kitchen and dining area big enough for all of us, and plenty of room for high chairs, which seems necessary with the way this group is going. We’re also adding a huge living room. When I say huge, I mean huge. The plans are for one entire wall to be an entertainment center that will more than likely only ever see Disney movies. A large bathroom because with the little ones running around, you never know when a bath is going to be needed. There are four large sectional couches, one for each family. It’s important for our group’s wives and kids to be there with them. Our hours can be crazy, and it helps to have the ones you love close. Although I’m the odd man out, I agree with this plan wholeheartedly. Besides, it’s not by choice I’m still unattached. I’m still waiting on my girl to get the memo that she’s that. Mine.

  “Wow,” I say as I pull up to the stop sign. The wall is just ahead, and although I can only see a fraction of it, I can already tell this is more than just graffiti.

  “That’s… more than graffiti,” she says, mimicking my thoughts.

  “That’s badass is what it is.” I pull up in front of the wall and roll down the window. “You want to walk or drive?” I ask her.

  She points out the front window. “I’m thinking drive. This looks pretty long and these shoes….” She indicates her wedged looking heels that look uncomfortable as hell, but make her legs and ass look fucking incredible.

  “Drive it is.” I creep along, stopping every few feet to look at a new section of wall. The colors are vibrant, and the designs are in a word, incredible.

  “Yeah, I’m glad we skipped out on the paint.” She laughs. “This is not what I was expecting. These are unbelievable.” She leans over the console to look out my window, her pert breast pressing against my arm.

  “Looks like someone wanted to add their own spin.” I laugh, pointing to the dick that’s drawn over an incredible design.

  “Some people just have to ruin everything,” she huffs.

  We continue to slowly drive by the wall, taking in the art, because the talent that adorns this brick wall is astonishing. Cass stays in her spot, leaning over the console, and I have to focus on the wall, the colors, and her words to keep my cock from springing to life. To be honest, it’s not working. Luckily, she’s more interested in the wall and not what’s in my pants, begging for relief, begging for her. All she has to do it look down and there’d be no hiding it.

  When we reach the end of the wall, I turn the SUV around and drive back so that the wall is now on her side of the car. She quickly turns in her seat and rolls down her window. “These people, they have real talent. I wonder if any of them make a living out of it? You know, something more than just painting random walls and train cars in different cities. It’s a shame to waste that kind of talent. They could be like me.” She laughs.

  “What?”

  She turns to look at me. “I have no talents. I’m not musically inclined. I can’t draw a good stick figure. Nothing.”

  “Everyone has a talent.”

  “Okay, Mr. I Play Bass for the Hottest Rock Band Around.”

  “It doesn’t have to be music or art. You’re organized to a fault, smart as hell, and beautiful,” I say.

>   “Those are hardly talents, Gavin.”

  “Who says? And what about those books you’re always making?”

  “My scrapbooks? That’s just a hobby. It started as a way to preserve memories. Mom on her good days would tell me stories, and I would try to capture those on the page with the pictures. It’s history, all that I have of my family,” she replies softly.

  “Yes, those books and they’re ridiculously good, Cass. You need to give yourself more credit.”

  “I use a machine, made for scrapbooking.”

  “So, I use a guitar. That’s a tool of your trade. These painters”—I point to the wall—“use paint.”

  “I’m not going to win this one, am I?” she asks.

  “Not a chance.” I laugh.

  She smiles softly, her sapphire eyes sparkling. The sun is starting to set over the wall, and it’s a backdrop for her beauty; they both are. “I don’t know how you do it, but you can almost make me believe it,” she says quietly, so much so that if I were not watching her lips, giving her all my attention, I might have missed it.

  “Good.” Reaching out, I tuck a curl behind her ear. “You’ve had some tough times, but I hate that you can’t see yourself the way that I see you. Beautiful.” I let my fingers trail down her cheek. “Smart, loyal, crafty.” I grin.

  “It’s moments like this that make resisting you even harder,” she confesses. My heart beats a little faster at her admission.

  “Then don’t.”

  “Gavin, we’ve been over this. You know my reasons.”

  “I do, and I don’t agree with them.”