Remedy Read online

  Stepping to the side and away from me, I’m now the one receiving the death glare. “Fine,” she mutters, grabbing her phone from the table and stomping off toward the front door.

  “What crawled up her ass?” Caleb asks Tabby.

  “Caleb.” Emily swats at his arm, scolding him.

  “What? She’s being a bitch for no reason. Grady, let her get a cab so you don’t have to deal with her shit,” he tells me.

  “I got it,” I say, then look over at Tabby. She’s studying me. “You ready?”

  “Yeah.” Picking up her drink—something pink—she downs it and turns for the door.

  With a quick wave to my friends, I follow after her. I find both of them standing beside my old Toyota 4Runner. I click the lock and watch as Collins rushes to climb into the back seat, leaving the front open for Tabby. As soon as I’m in the car with the door shut, her scent washes over me. Lavender. It’s been too long since I’ve seen her, but every time I smell that scent, I think of her, of the night we shared together.

  “So how long have you lived at Sunny Glen?” I ask no one in particular. Glancing in the rearview mirror, I see Collins with her arms crossed over her chest and is staring out the window.

  Tabby looks over her shoulder at Collins before turning to look at me. “About three years. We both graduate from nursing school next week. BSN,” she says excitedly.

  “Good for you. Both of you,” I say, looking in the mirror again. Collins is still just staring out the window, watching as the night passes us by. “I didn’t realize you were both in nursing,” I admit. That’s my fault. I should have paid more attention anytime my parents or Caleb talked about her. I just couldn’t though. I didn’t want to hear about who she was dating or worse, engaged to. Instead, I blocked them out and skipped over the conversation completely. If they caught on, they never said.

  Tabby looks over her shoulder again, then turns back around. “Yeah, we both went to IU, roomed together all through college. We moved into our current place right after our freshman year. Neither one of us were feeling dorm life.”

  “Yeah, I did the same. It helped that my two roommates were both med students as well. We didn’t have to worry about raging parties when we needed to have our noses stuck in a book.”

  “What? No raging college parties for the infamous Grady Carmichael?” She places her hand against her chest as if the shock is just too much for her to take.

  “I went to Duke for both undergrad and med school. Undergrad there were a few, and by few, I mean, literally maybe three or four. I had to stay focused. Duke Med School is no joke, and I had to keep my grades up. Then med school was a bitch, no time for parties. Any spare time I had was spent sleeping.”

  “So, what’s next for you? Are you a doctor now?” she asks.

  “Yeah, Grady Carmichael, MD at your service.” I laugh. “However, I still have to complete my residency before I can practice on my own.”

  “Damn, that’s a lot. How long is residency?”

  “Three to seven years, depending on my specialty and if I go for a fellowship.”

  “Are you?” she asks.

  “Nah, that’s not the plan. At least, not for now. Three years of residency and I’m good to go.” I can tell she wants to ask more, but I pull into their complex. “Which unit is yours?”

  “That one on the end.” Tabby points through the front window at the end of the lot. After pulling my SUV into a space, I turn off the engine and hop out.

  “What are you doing?” Collins asks. It’s the first time she’s spoken since she stormed out of the bar.

  “Walking you to your door.”

  “We can handle it,” she says, slamming the door and heading toward the building. Tabby shrugs in confusion and follows her.

  Not letting her attitude stop me, I follow along behind them. Collins stops at the door and turns to face me. “Really, Grady?” she seethes, hands on her hips.

  “Um, I’m just going to go on inside. Thanks for the ride, Dr. Carmichael.” Tabby grins and waves before disappearing behind the door.

  Collins’s long dark hair is covering those big, blue eyes, the same ones that I see every damn time I close mine. When I lift my hand and gently tuck the loose strand behind her ear, she sucks in a breath. “I’m just looking out for you, making sure you make it inside safely,” I say softly.

  “Oh, yeah?” She swallows hard. “Where were you three years ago, Grady? Huh? Where were you after I gave myself to you, when you disappeared into the night? Where were you?” she asks, her voice breaking.

  “Col—”

  “No.” She takes a step back until her back hits the apartment door. “I don’t need your excuses. If you were worried, if you cared, you would have been there.” Tears well in her eyes.

  “There is nothing in life I regret more than leaving you that night.”

  “You sure have a funny way of showing it.” She turns, opens the door, and closes it quickly.

  I don’t try to stop her. The pain in her eyes, the tears threatening to fall have my stomach in knots. I fucked up, I know it, she knows it. However, what she doesn’t know is that there is no one for me but her. I just need to figure out a game plan to prove it to her. To show her how sorry I am. That I know I made a mistake, but if she were to give me another shot, I can prove to her that she’s my girl. She has been since that night three years ago.

  Safely inside my apartment, I close my eyes and fall back into the door. Grady Carmichael is back in town after all these years, and I thought I was ready for it. I thought I was ready to see him. I had convinced myself that I could act as if nothing happened between us. One look and that theory was blown right out of the water.

  He’s still sexy as hell. Tall with a trim build, and I know the peaks and valleys of the muscles that lie just underneath his tight-fitting shirt. By the looks of it, he is even more defined now. His shaggy brown hair, those green eyes, and his five o’clock shadow wrap up the sexy package that is solely him. Grady fucking Carmichael is back, and I’m a mess.

  “It was him, wasn’t it?” Tabby asks.

  Slowly, I open my eyes and see her sitting on the couch watching me. I never admitted to anyone what happened that night with Grady and me. I did tell Tabby there was a guy, but I told her he wasn’t worth naming since he snuck out on me while I was sleeping. She didn’t pressure me for details, something I love about my best friend. She knows when to push, and I’m sure she could tell that the details of that night were not on my “hot topic for discussion” list. I can’t seem to form the words, so I nod.

  She pats the couch cushion beside her. “Come sit.”

  One foot in front of the other, I make my way to the couch and plop down beside her. “I’m sorry I never told you who it was.”

  “You don’t have to apologize. That’s your secret to share. I know what happened. You knew that if you needed to talk, I was ready to listen, at least I hope you did.”

  I nod. “Yeah, I just didn’t want to admit that it was him. I crushed on him for years and that night… he made me feel special, like all along he had felt it, too. I was humiliated to know that I was just a night of fun for him.”

  “You have nothing to be humiliated about.”

  “Yeah, easier said than done. You try giving your virginity to your older brother’s best friend and have him sneak out of bed like a thief in the night. I texted him you know. I asked him what I did wrong, but never once did he reply. I blamed myself. I was inexperienced, and a whole list of other reasons and emotions I’d rather not talk about.”

  “You probably don’t want to hear this, but he doesn’t look at you like a man who was disappointed.” She nudges me with her elbow, trying to lighten the mood.

  “It was just easier to keep it to myself. I never want Caleb to find out. Why have him pissed at me and Grady for a one-time thing.”

  She cringes. “Yeah, Caleb would be pissed for sure.”

  “I was willing to risk it, you know? To be wit
h him. I thought he felt that way, too. I was wrong. It hurt, and now I’m over it. Well, as over it as I can be. I can’t be friends with him or whatever it is he has in mind. At least, not yet.”

  “Maybe one day, when you’re ready,” she says gently. Tabby knows how big my crush was on him. Freshman year, I might not have told her all the details, but I did tell her about my older brother’s best friend that I’ve always had a crush on. Hell, if I’m honest, it’s still there, but the anger overshadows it. I can still feel the hurt of waking up alone, reaching for him, only to find him and his clothes gone. I called and texted him with no reply. Later that day, I found out that he went back to college, claiming work called and needed him. I never bought that excuse. In my messages, I begged him to come home for Christmas so we could talk. My messages went unanswered, and he never showed up for Christmas. That was answer enough for me. I was a fling. My first time, meant to be special, was forever tainted by the feeling of being tossed to the side. Even if he didn’t want me, I would have thought that with our families being close, with him being my brother’s best friend, he would have at least let me down easy. Nope. Instead, he disappeared, and tonight was the first night in three years since I laid eyes on him.

  “Maybe,” I say, not committing. I don’t know that I can ever be friends with him. I would like to think I can forgive and forget, but my heart just isn’t onboard with that idea just yet. “I’m calling it a night. Thanks for listening, and I know you won’t, but please don’t say anything.”

  “Never,” she says adamantly. “Get some rest.”

  I hug her tightly, grateful to have her in my life. I might have kept his identity from her, but not because I didn’t trust her. I just… wanted to keep him to myself. I had a small part of him, even though he discarded me. I wanted that small piece. Not to mention, I was able to avoid embarrassment.

  In my room, I shut the door and fall face first onto my bed. I want to forget this day ever happened. Forget what he looks like—older, more defined. I want to forget what he smells like—musky and uniquely Grady. I want my heart to forget that it craves him. One day, I’ll get over him. One day.

  My phone pings with a message, rolling over, I dig my phone out of my back pocket and tap the screen. My chest heaves at the sight of his name. I contemplate not opening it, but I’m a gluten for punishment, so I do it anyway.

  Grady: Goodnight, Collins.

  That’s it. Two little words that are three years too late. Why is it so damn easy for him to text me now? Where was this message, this confidence of his three years ago? Why in the hell does my heart beat just a little faster knowing he was thinking about me? I’m supposed to be getting over him.

  I want to text him back and ask these questions, but then I think about my messages and calls that went unanswered. He doesn’t deserve a reply. I should have deleted his number years ago, but for some reason, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. At least I won’t be up all night wondering who the message is from. I would have more than likely replied asking who it was, opening up a line of conversation I’m not willing to start. Turns out not deleting him was a good thing. Tossing my phone on the nightstand then grabbing some clothes, I head to the bathroom and take a steaming hot shower to wash away the day and get ready for bed.

  The sound of my phone alerting me to a text message pulls me from my slumber. Glancing at the clock, I see that it’s a little after eight. Who in the hell is texting me this early in the morning, on Sunday no less? This is my sleep in, “lounge around and do nothing if I want” day. Reaching for my phone, I swipe the screen and open my messages. I have to blink twice to make sure I’m not imagining things. It’s another message from Grady.

  Grady: Morning, beautiful.

  What. The. Fuck? I wish I knew what his end game was. Why all of a sudden is he Mr. Nice Guy and trying to butter me up? The time for that has passed. And last night, I lay awake longer than I care to admit breaking apart piece by piece his actions. His words, “There is nothing in life I regret more than leaving you that night,” a constant loop in my mind. No matter how I manage to spin it, it still doesn’t justify his actions. None of it makes any sense to me. He’s wasting his time. There will never be anything between us. Not anymore.

  If I’ve looked at my phone once today, I’ve looked at it a thousand times. It’s foolish to think she’ll reply after all these years, especially after what happened and how things ended. That’s on me, and I know that. I’m trying to fix it, but she’s not having it. Granted, I understand that I need to do more than just send her a couple of text messages to prove to her that I’m sorry. That I was wrong, and I want her. All of her.

  That night, there were hundreds of scenarios running through my mind. First and foremost, nothing had ever made me feel the way being with Collins had. It was her first time. The knowledge had rocked me. I should have stopped right then, but I was too far gone. I needed her. I still do. Then there was the fact that she’s my best friend’s little sister. I knew Caleb would be pissed, but I couldn’t resist her. Another huge factor, I was in medical school, over twelve hours away. I knew getting to see her would be sporadic at best and that my time was not my own. It belonged to Duke University Medical School. She deserved better than a long distance relationship, so I let my fear win, and I bailed while she was sleeping.

  I remember watching her sleep as I held her close, knowing I was leaving her and wishing there was another way. At the time, it seemed the best and only option. Looking back, I know that I was wrong. I’m man enough to admit it. Now, I just need her to accept my apology so we can move forward.

  I know she thinks that I left her lying there sleeping and forgot all about our night together. She’s wrong. She’s all I thought about. Fuck, she’s all I think about. Medical school was brutal, but on the off chance that me and my roommates went out, every girl who crossed my path I compared to Collins. None of them stacked up to her. It only took me until about five miles out of town to realize how badly I’d fucked up. That there would never be anyone else for me but her. I should have called her then, begged for her forgiveness, but I couldn’t do that to her. I read every message, listened to every voice mail, but still I remained silent on my end. I didn’t know what to say, and I knew if I reached out to her, I would go home. I’d worked too hard to just leave it all behind. I was going to become a doctor. Not to mention, there was still the fact she was Caleb’s little sister, and I had three more years of medical school. So, instead, I put all my energy into school. I never went out, I kept my nose in the books, and my heart in Indiana, with her.

  My phone rings and I fumble it in my hands, rushing to answer. I don’t even look at the screen, hopeful that it’s her after staring at the silent device all day. “Hello.”

  “Hey, man. What are you into?” Caleb asks.

  I sigh. “Not much. What’s going on?”

  “Don’t sound so thrilled to talk to me.” He laughs. “Nothing. Emily and Collins are working on wedding plans. Thought I’d see if you wanted to come over. I ordered some subs from that shop down the street. I need some testosterone to level out my apartment. Ouch,” he says, laughing. I can hear Emily telling him he’s cut off, and he immediately tells her that he’s sorry.

  Collins is there. I know she would rather not see me, but that doesn’t exactly work for me. Not to mention, it does nothing for my master plan to win her over. “Yeah, need me to bring anything?”

  “Beer. Bring lots of beer.”

  “What about the subs? I can swing by and pick those up on my way.”

  “Sure. I’ll get you some cash when you get here.”

  “No need. I’ll be there soon.” Hanging up the phone, I realize I have yet to shower today. I’ve sat around in my old bedroom at my parents’ place, moping, waiting for a glimmer of hope from Collins. Rushing, I grab some clean clothes and take a shower. Downstairs, I find my parents sitting in the living room.

  “He’s alive,” Dad jokes.

  “Where
you headed?” Mom asks.

  “Caleb called. Emily and Collins are working on wedding stuff, and he feels outnumbered. We’re going to have dinner. Catch up.”

  “Be safe. Let us know if you won’t be coming home,” Mom instructs.

  “Will do.” With a wave, I’m out the door and firing up my 4Runner. Caleb and Emily live in a condo on the edge of town. It’s about a fifteen-minute drive. I’m so focused on seeing her that I almost forgot to stop and pick up the subs. Checking the time, it’s just after six, which means I made the cut off for Sunday beer sales. After stopping for the subs, I rush into the market, grab a twelve-pack, and then I’m on my way. Not three minutes later, I’m pulling up outside of their condo.

  Caleb meets me at the door, taking the beer from me before I can even climb out of the SUV. Reaching into the passenger seat, I grab the bag of subs and follow him. “Were you watching for me?” I ask, amusement in my voice.

  “Yes. I’m starving, and it’s fucking wedding central in there. Man, I don’t give a shit about flowers or napkins. I just want her to be my wife. She can have anything she wants, but she insists on asking me, and I have no fucking clue.”

  “Did you tell her that?”

  “Yeah, in so many words. I don’t want to hurt her feelings. I care about our wedding, I do. I care that she’s my bride and is going to be my wife. That’s it. Everything else is just fluff. She could tell me I had to wear a hot pink suit and I would be there with bells on.”

  “You could rock pink,” I say, barely able to keep a straight face.

  “Hey, Grady. Thanks for picking this up.” Emily greets me as we enter the small kitchen.

  “No problem.” I look at the table that looks as though wedding central is taking place. “Heard you had your hands full.”

  She beams. “Just a little.”

  Finally, I allow myself to look at Collins. Her long dark hair is pulled up into a messy bun. She’s in short, tight, little athletic shorts, at least that’s what it looks like to me, and a tank top. Her face is free of makeup, and I can’t take my eyes off her. “Hey, Collins,” I greet her.